One day, still deeply depressed, I found a Bible verse that spoke to me: “Yet the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8 PHILLIPS
I still don’t know all the theological ramifications of that verse, but I know what I understood then of its validity. Jesus Christ died for me knowing I was a sinner. He knew me and loved me anyway.
He knew that I made and broke resolutions in one and the same breath. He knew that all the love I claimed to have for others was mostly fake. He knew that my seemingly gentle manner covered seething resentments and a constantly critical evaluation of others. He knew the times I lied and all the times I had denied and would deny Him. He knew the only authority I had ever recognized was one based on threat, yet He offered me authority based on love. And He took action on my behalf.
More than anything else, the principle in that verse meant that for the first time in my life I had a relationship that was secure – because Jesus Christ already knew all the disappointing truths about me, and had taken action to free me from their pattern.
One night, all alone in my fine, dissatisfying apartment, I cried out, “All right! Jesus Christ, Whoever You are, You take over.” Can you guess what happened next? Can you imagine the sudden peace and joy that I experienced? I can’t, because it didn’t happen that way for me!
The next morning I felt the same, looked the same, and made the disgusting observation that I was the same! I hoped someone would notice a startling difference and tried to glow, but I failed miserably.
Finally, I admitted to a friend that I had turned my life over to Christ but nothing had happened. She told me I didn’t have enough faith, so I started going home a little early and trying to have faith.
I didn’t know how it was done, but I suspected it was done with the eyebrow muscles, because that’s the look people had when they talked about it. You know what I mean, that rolling up of the forehead and wide spacing of the eyes to give the appearance of joy. I tried it, I really did. I didn’t have any more faith, but I sure did have a headache! Oh, I wanted to have some fine validating experience! How could I ever hope to be a sure-fire Christian without it?
Some of all that effort was fine, but most of it was just plain stupid. Christ in you will make a difference, but He does it!
Faith is a gift of God. It is not, never was, and never will be a product of man’s best efforts. It is a gift.
Scripture taught me that Jesus Christ is the author and finisher of our faith – faith comes by hearing; by hearing the Word of God. God healed me by His Word and in His Word I learned why something really wonderful had happened when I turned my life over to Jesus Christ.
Excerpt from Jeannette Clift George’s first book, Some Run With Feet of Clay
